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@FirstProgenitor i was going to joke about how your bullies will have a change of heart but like, melissa is already your friend

I can't start today because you need clippers to get the pieces off, and I don't think we have any. But I am excited nonetheless

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Holy shit holy shit holy shit
It comes with instructions but I'm kind of tempted to try putting it together without them

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Sam: want to listen to the league of legends lil nas x song with me?

Me: no

Sam: okay

Sometimes when people talk about flirting that Simpsons clip plays in my head "I sleep in a big bed with my wife"

It's why for a long time I was like I'm not a vampire kinnie I just kin a guy who happens to be a vampire

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I remember in my kin infancy I joined a vampire kinnie server and I was extremely the odd one out. It was mostly cis goth women posting about blood drinking and I'm like 🧍🏼 I like anime

i am thinking about how the management of tumblr once told their staff that "they were going to be the new pdf"

inflates you making you big and round

Brushing your teeth in the shower is all fun and games until your get toothpaste in your pussy

pussy so good it destabilizes the US military industrial complex

@FirstProgenitor person 13: Who's man? What'de they do? I had no idea. Ill block man.

Fedi bullshit is always like
[man does annoying/I'll advised thing]
Person 1: man sucks
Person 2: man sucks
Person 3: man sucks
Person 4: ligma
Persona 5: i don’t know if we need this many posts about how much this man sucks
Person 6: subtoot of persona 5
Person 7: man sucks
Person 8: man sucks
Person 9 subtoot of person 3

3 months later
Person 10: remember when persona 5 made a post about how we shouldn't make posts about how man sucks
Person 11: did man suck again
Person 12: no I don't think so I think people are just talking about how he sucked

.social's favorite things:
- federating with fascists
- college essay writing services
- sending your reports directly to the shredder
- sketchy online casinos
- scam vpns
- painting the elephant purple

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